


even my kidney is pounding (I think I'm sick)

by izzylerd



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, disgusting fluff, fake dating au but with a twist, kinda angsty I guess?, squint for ChuuLip, very minor 2jin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-05 20:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20279419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzylerd/pseuds/izzylerd
Summary: You knew that Chae was petty and a little evil at times, but this was different. You didn't think her "pranks" would get to this level, yet here you are, pressing your lips against hers all for a good laugh.///or, Hyewon are dumb and definitely in love, they just don't know it yet.





	even my kidney is pounding (I think I'm sick)

**Author's Note:**

> i really don't know what this is lmfao

There's thousands of alarms ringing inside of your head, blaring red right into your ears. 

_Fake dating. How many things could go wrong with that?_

You can't count on both hands how many things could go wrong. 

1\. Your friendship with Chae, definitely something you are _not _willing to give up at any point or time in your life. 

2\. Your friendship with the rest of the girls. Not exactly a strong argument considering Heejin and Hyunjin have been a _real _thing since before you came into the group, and you're absolutely positive there's something akin to longing in both Jungeun's and Jiwoo's eyes every time they look at each other. 

3\. The loss of your sanity. Probably should be at the top of your list considering you're already enough of a crackhead, losing your shit even more would definitely be..._interesting. _

Those are only three reasons amongst hundreds of others that you can't even think of right now. 

It's not that you couldn't think of Chaewon that way - you feel like you should be worried that you _have, _but it's not the most important thing to worry about in the life as an idol - but you don't know how far you'd be willing to go to make the whole thing convincing to the other girls. 

Chaewon says it wouldn't change anything between the two of you, that it's simply a prank that would be funny to play on the girls since everyone has been on edge recently with preparations for ISAC and KCon. And she's right, even 2jin have been taking the blunt end of each other's frustrations. The constant practicing, rehearsing, anything that they do to prepare brings everyone closer to a breaking point. So what happens when everyone gets to that point? You don't know. You don't really want to know. 

"Hello? Earth to Hyejoo?"

Chaewon's airy voice brings you back to reality, and it's then that you realize that you haven't given her an answer, you don't even know how long you've been inside of your own head. 

(A quick glance at the clock on the other side of the room tells you it's only been 3 minutes. 

3 minutes that have felt like forever.)

"Um..", you don't really know what to say but Chae is looking at you expectantly, all wide-eyed and perched on the edge of the couch. 

So of course you give her the answer she wants, you've never been good at denying her what she wants. It should be illegal how often Chae gets her way with you, to her you're just a puppet that she can play with. 

(The analogy doesn't slip your mind, but you don't really see it as a bad thing. You're not ever sacrificing yourself for her, more just doing everything and _anything _to make her happy)

///

In the midst of the whole KCon chaos, Chae manages to steal you away after a long day of performing and greeting the fans. You've never felt more exhausted and exhilarated at the same time than you do in the quiet moments behind the stages, you honestly were starting to believe you would never see the fruits of your labor. It's been a long year, an even longer few years for the earlier girls who have been pushing through longer than you have. You knew the life of an idol wasn't an easy one, but it's genuinely so exhausting at times that it takes you by surprise. At times you just find yourself wishing you were anywhere but _here, _surrounded by 11 other screaming girls who are still hyped up on adrenaline from the performances. 

You only have one more day left before everything settles back down, but in between everything you always find yourself with _her. _

Chae has been getting a lot closer with Jinsoul recently, something about "blonde baby unit" and Jinsoul being her mother like Haseul is to Yeojin. You don't mind at all really, if anything it's given you a lot more alone time that you've desperately been needing. But a part of you can't help but notice the way your body deflates in the slightest when Chaewon yells out that she's going to be hanging out with Jinsoul, or when she hangs off of her arms instead of yours whenever you're walking somewhere. 

Somehow, though, she always makes it back to you. 

Somehow, at the end of the day, it's you she crawls into bed with. You who she shares her meals and snacks with, you that she lays next to and games with until unhealthy hours of the morning. But it still comes as a bit of a surprise when suddenly there's tiny fingers wrapping around your wrist and dragging you out of the ridiculously loud room. 

(You don't notice the lingering gazes on your backs, the snickers and smirks spread across multiple faces as they watch both of you leave the group behind to go god knows where.)

God knows where ends up being the rooftop. You don't know when or how Chae got access to the roof of the hotel, and you feel a part of you should be worried about it considering she tends to get herself in trouble sometimes, but when you're both leaning against the edge with thousands of city lights twinkling in your eyes, you can't find it in yourself to worry. 

"You looked stressed back there, I figured you could use a breather"

Her voice is softer than usual, whispering like she's afraid she'll break the atmosphere, and you feel something grow inside of your chest. You know that she knows you inside out, knows all of your ticks and all of your buttons, knows which ones to push and when to push them. 

You don't call each other soulmate for nothing. 

"Thank you", is all that comes out of your mouth and you feel kind of stupid, "How'd you even get us up here?"

She smirks, "The door wasn't locked. Can't get in trouble if they didn't block it off in the first place"

This makes you roll your eyes because it's so _Chae. _Nobody ever really expects the troublemakers to be her and Yerim, the title always falls onto you and Yeojin because you're the ones who publicly give the unnies a hard time. But behind the scenes it's always the other two getting into some kind of trouble, whether it be trying to burn the dorm down with chicken nuggets - you're never going to let Chae live that one down - or getting into some stupid trouble because Yerim just refuses to _think_ sometimes. 

"It's pretty up here", it's still just above a whisper and she's too busy staring out at the skyline of Los Angeles to notice that you're staring at her instead. 

_Huh. When did that happen?_

You're still looking at her when you mutter, "Yeah, it is"

///

(You spend so much time on the rooftop that Haseul and some of the managers have to call you a bunch of times to get you to come back to the hotel rooms. The ringing of your phones breaks the peace and you feel a shift in Chaewon's face. 

She sends you an apologetic smile before flitting her gaze to the ground and dragging you back inside where everyone is waiting for you.

She stands just a little bit closer to you after that, her touch and gazes lingering just a little longer. You fail to notice, but the others don't)

///

Chae decides that the second day back from the United States is the day that the prank will start. Everyone is still a bit on edge, the press and the fansites have yet to calm down but it's definitely a lot less than it was before. You've been granted a couple days off to recooperate from the jet lag and the exhaustion that's settled in, and you want to do nothing but sink into your bed and play League of Legends until you can't keep your eyes open anymore. 

Chae has other plans. 

First, she drags you to a cafe nearby to come up with a "game plan". You think she might be a little too invested in this "prank". 

She's got a notebook laid out in front of her, pen twirling in her hands as a determined look settles across her features. 

"Okay so, I give it about two weeks before someone starts to catch on or something like that. I've already got a list of things we could do to get them to start questioning, you know? Build up the fire and all"

There's an evil glint in her eyes, a smirk starting to stretch as she lifts the notebook up and clears her throat to start, "First order of business, nicknames. I've composed a list of things that only we could call each other-"

"Juju and Chaewonnie?" 

It kind of slips out and you don't even realize you've said it until she freezes mid sentence, "Oh. Well, okay, I guess we have that covered then. I was thinking along the lines of Baby Wolf and stuff but now that I think about it, we _are_ the only ones who call each other that"

She glances up at you and you shoot her an awkward half smile, and its then you realize how, _tense, _the air seems. 

She clears her throat again, "Um, well second, I guess, would be skinship. Stuff like hand holding, cuddling, hand holding, falling asleep together, feeding each other, all that gross couple shit"

You feel yourself freeze up, because as she explains her list you can't help but notice that it's nothing different than what you're _already doing. _

Hand holding? Check, you held hands on the plane ride back from L.A., in the airport, on the ride back to the dorm, and on the walk form the dorm to the cafe you're sitting in right now. And everyone knows that when Chae is holding your hand, _only Chae _gets to hold your hand. 

Cuddling? Double check, she's huddled up next to you every chance that she gets. If she's not sitting next to Jinsoul or messing around with Yerim then she's next to you, in your lap, anything that involves touching you. 

Falling asleep together? You don't remember the last time besides the first night of KCon where you hadn't slept in the same bed as her. 

As for feeding each other? It's usually in an annoying way, but eating tteokbokki together every Friday is kind of your tradition, _everyone _knows that. 

"-I mean obviously they'll notice it, it'll be like, the most obvious thing-"

"Um, Chae?"

She stops mid sentence again, pen up in the air and mouth wide open, "Yeah?"

Her eyes meet yours, and you suddenly find yourself..._nervous?_

You flick your eyes to your hands which are cradled together, twiddling and fiddling around on their own accord. You feel a faint blush crawl across your cheeks and it takes a significant amount of energy to mumble a reply back to her confusion. 

"We um, we kind of-", you clear your throat in an effort to gain some confidence back, "We already do that stuff"

Her eyebrows furrow together immediately, you can't help but find it a little cute, "What are you-"

An emotion close enough to realization hits her in that instant, you watch her eyebrows pinch together even further and she slowly lowers both of her hands back to the table. Her eyes flit back and forth between a spot on the table, almost like she's trying to recall memories or prove your statement wrong. 

A minute or two of silence washes over and Chae has yet to say anything, she seems completely lost in thought and it's starting to worry you because Chae _never _thinks for this long, "Um, Chae? Are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, I just...", she trails off, her body seeming to rid of tension as she settles back into her seat. 

You don't really know what to do, you feel incredibly awkward which is making you even more uncomfortable because you _never_ feel awkward around Chaewon. 

"Well maybe we can just do it more", it's stated more like a question, and now she's looking at you and-

_Holy shit. _

Today is a bit of a colder day because of the rain and overcast weather, so the two of you are sporting thicker jackets than usual. Except everything looks big on Chae because she's so tiny, and her body is all hidden in her fluffy pink jacket. Nature has decided to kill you today, as the clouds decide to break for the sun at the very moment that you two lock eyes again, and you feel like the wind has been knocked out of you. The light reflects off of her flawless skin, a light glow bounding off her cheeks and into your vision, and the brown of her eyes lighten with the sun hitting them. She's got an emotion you don't understand etched on her pretty features, eyes almost comically wide and mouth gaping open slightly. 

(If you were paying more attention to your own body, you'd realize you've got the same expression on.)

The moment is broken by the sun hiding behind the clouds again, the ringing of the bell above the cafe echoing in your ears. 

"I- uh, yeah sure!"

You both shake yourselves out of whatever _that _was, and you watch the expression wipe off of your best friends face almost too quick to catch, replaced by a bright smile that turns her eyes into crescents. 

"Great! Let's start tonight, I heard Haseul talking about a movie night so it'll be the perfect time to up our cuddle game"

It's the first time in a couple days that you naturally smile. The prank aside, tonight will definitely be a good night to bond with the girls and get some good alone time in with them. Plus, you get to cuddle with your best friend. There's nothing that could go wrong. 

///

There are a lot of things that go wrong. 

1\. Yeojin and Heejin fight for _twenty minutes _over the movie being played, which ends in Jungeun yelling at the both of them and saying they'll just play both of the movies. 

2\. For some god awful reason, Haseul entrusted Yerim to go make the popcorn, which, of course, ended in chaos as one of the bags caught on fire and the smoke alarm goes off. 

3\. Chae won't stop touching you.

Normally you would be fine with it, but when she said that the two of you could up the game _a bit, _she really meant _a lot. _

She hasn't let go of you for a second since you got back to the dorm, you had to literally beg her to let go of your hand so you could go use the bathroom while it was still open. 

And not just that, but she's taken the whole skinship thing to a completely different level. And yes, normally you could be absolutely fine, over the moon even! But with every kiss she plants on your cheek she gets closer and closer to your lips, with every stroke of her hand down your arms or around your sides it gets more intimate, and every time your eyes lock there's an unnamed emotion behind her eyes that makes you squirm and sweat. 

So yes, you would normally be okay with all the cuddling she's giving you, but now you're blushing profusely, you can't make eye contact with Sooyoung after she had raised an eyebrow at you, and- great, Chae just kissed your neck. 

You bolt out of your seat on the couch, not realizing how sporadically you did it until there's 11 pairs of eyes watching you.

"I need to use the bathroom", you squeak out, but for some reason you don't make a move to go do it. 

A pause, then Haseul, "Um, okay? Do you want us to pause the movie and wait or..."

"NO- Uh, hm, no, that's okay I'm just gonna", and then you bolt to the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind you. 

You take a minute to try to regulate your breathing, you didn't even notice that you were practically heaving until you were in the silence of the bathroom. You take a look at yourself in the mirror and note the redness of, well, your entire body. Everything feels like it's on fire and you don't know why. You splash some cold water on your face and it alleviates some of the heat, but you still feel yourself sweating down your back and forehead. 

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

You only take another minute to breathe and then force yourself back into the living room, hoping that you can put on enough of a facade that you can just get through the rest of the night without looking like an absolute crack addict. 

The second your body dips back into the couch Chae is latching onto you, and all of your efforts to stay calm and collected are thrown out of the window when she stares up at you with her big, innocent eyes. 

"Are you okay? You seemed a little panicked, was that kiss too much?"

You want to say yes. You _should _say yes, because the more you think about Chaewon fucking _kissing your neck _the harder it is to breathe, and _why the fuck are you being like this? _

This is Chaewon you're talking about. Park Chaewon, who under all of her bratty, cool-girl exterior, is actually the biggest softie and just wants love and attention 24/7. Park Chaewon who only felt completely comfortable and capable in the group once she met you and got closer with you, the only girl who you willingly could call your soulmate and vice versa. She's your best friend, so why does this whole fake dating thing make your head spin? It's just that. Fake dating. 

"No, it's okay, I just wasn't expecting it", it's not _completely _untrue. 

She grimaces still, "I'm sorry, I should have asked. Maybe we should have set boundaries before we started"

You scoff internally, _yeah, boundaries, like those exist between us. _

Still, you smile at her and boop her nose with your pinky, "It's okay Chae, really. At least now I know to expect it"

"Hey could you two love birds shut it? A Whole New World is about to start", Hyunjin snaps at you both, forcing you out of your little bubble and back to reality where, just as she said, Aladdin is about to take Jasmine on her carpet ride. 

Chae just sticks her tongue out at Hyunjin, snuggling in deeper to your neck. You throw an arm around her and pull her closer, your other arm snaking around to find her open palm and intertwining your hands. You feel her smile against the skin of your neck, and you let yourself bask in the moment with the rest of the group around you. 

///

Even between the busy schedules you have now that you're preparing for the B#RN comeback, Chae manages to sneak in her little "romantic" gestures in. 

Unfortunately for her, it doesn't take two weeks for someone to call you both out. In fact, you haven't even noticed a single member change their attitude towards you two. If anything, everything just seems as normal as it could be. The only difference now is that you expect Chaewon to be all "lovey", but that knowledge only seems to be between the both of you. You genuinely feel like nothing has changed except for the fact that now when your best friend's eyes linger on you for too long to be considered platonic, or when she presses a kiss on your neck or cheek or so much as holds your hand, you lose your inhibition and turn into an absolute mess. 

A month into your whole "arrangement" and Chae is starting to get agitated. 

"I just don't get it! How has no one said anything yet!"

"Honestly Chaewonnie, I don't feel like anything has changed. We've always been like this"

You won't ever admit it out loud, but this whole thing has kind of been taking a toll on you. You've long since named the emotion that dwells in your chest when Chae is affectionate towards you, and it's something very, _very, _akin to being in love with your best friend. You feel like you should have just given up on this whole thing a long time ago, because it's very obvious that it's going to do nothing but hurt in the long run, but the selfish side of you realizes this is what it's like to have Chae as a "girlfriend". In reality "girlfriend" Chae isn't all that different from best friend Chae, which makes you toss and turn at night, but still. This is a chance to have Chae like you won't ever have her again, and damn everything to hell if you aren't going to bask in it as much as possible. 

"But we've never been _this_ touchy! Like seriously, even Jinsoul is getting upset that I haven't been as touchy with her recently, that should say something right?"

You shrug, cause you really don't know what else to do, "I guess so"

She glares at that, "Come on Juju! You're supposed to be helping me with this! We're supposed to be a team!"

"Chae I really don't know what else there is for us to do, maybe we should just give up", you only half say that because you feel your heart breaking little by little everyday. 

"What? No! We can't give up, we're way too invested in this. If we pull back now everyone is gonna think that something is up"

"Something _is _up", you mutter under your breath, just loud enough for her to know you said something but not loud enough for her to know what is is. 

She whips her head around and stares at you, "What?"

You shake your head quickly, "Nothing"

She looks at you harder, her eyes squinting and darting around your face, probably trying to catch you in your lie. Her gaze lingers on your lips though, and you see the gears turning in her head, an idea forming in her brain and you already know what she's thinking before she's even said it. 

"We have to kiss"

If there was ever a time for a cue freeze-frame, record scratch, it was right now. You feel all of the air leave your body, every single drop of blood drain to everywhere but your face, and you're already sweating through the third shirt of the day. 

You can't help but stutter, "W-what?"

The realization of what she's said seems to dawn on her, and you think her expression is starting to match yours. She definitely didn't mean to say it out loud, but she did, and now it's out and she can't take it back. She seems to understand this, and just as that nameless emotion passes in her eyes, she stands a little taller and juts her chin out, feigning confidence. 

"We have to kiss, that's the only way they'll all freak out", she says it confidently, but you know her well enough to hear the undertone of fear, to hear the slight waver in her syllables, and to notice that her fists are clenched, knuckles white at her sides. 

"Chae I really don't think-"  


"I'm fine with it if you are"

_Fucking hell. _

You may have accepted that you're in love with Park Chaewon, but you aren't about to accept the fact that she wants to kiss you, even if it's for a prank that's gone on way too long to just be a prank. 

(You're a very introverted person, which means you get used to watching and listening instead of doing the opposite. It's given you a lot of insight into things, and you like to overthink in general, so her lingering gazes and the softness of her kisses haven't slipped your mind. Because they used to be for show, but you've noticed that there's a special air around them now, and Chaewon treats them like miracles, even if they're planned or expected. You've seen the glint in her eyes, and you know it matches the one in yours when you look at her.

You ignore it all the same.)

You sigh heavily, running a hand through your hair that's not a bit shorter, your blonde tips long gone, "If you really think that it'll work-"

"It will"

"And as long as you're 100% okay with it-"

"I am as long as you are"

_I don't think I'll ever be completely okay with this. _

"Okay then. We'll kiss"

She nods, you look away, and the tension in the air threatens to suffocate you. 

///

She tells you that you'll know when she's going to do it. She told you she wants you to be comfortable, that if you tell her not to then she won't do it and she'll drop the whole thing without a second thought. 

But you're an angsty teenager who's in love with your best friend, so you don't tell her that the thought of kissing her makes you want to burst into flames on the spot. 

It doesn't go at all how you thought it would go.

You're all granted another day off, thankfully, and everyone is just too tired to spend the day out, so you find yourself in a pile of blankets in the living room while everyone chills out. There's a movie on that absolutely no one is paying attention to, Heejin and Hyunjin and cuddling on the couch opposite of you and looking about two seconds away from falling asleep, Sooyoung is braiding Jinsoul's now black hair, Yeojin, Yerim, and Jiwoo are all on their tablets typing furiously on instagram or twitter, Kahei and Haseul are quietly having a Korean lesson now that Kahei is more comfortable with the more complicated aspects, and Jungeun is reading some romance novel that she probably wishes was based on her and Jiwoo's relationship. 

Which leaves you and Chae. She's been tense all day, and she's sitting a bit farther away from you than usual and her nervous energy is seeping right into yours. 

After ten painfully long minutes, Haseul breaks the silence, "The managers just texted me and said that takeout is waiting downstairs in the lobby, can someone come with me?"

Chae practically flings herself off the couch, causing you to flinch from the sudden movement and she has the heart to send you an apologetic look, "I'll go with you unnie"

Haseul raises an eyebrow at her, "Um, not to be rude, but you never volunteer and I feel like you're planning something"

Chae visibly gulps and you've got half the mind to scold her for being so obvious, "N-no! Of course not unnie, just...feeling a little gracious today!"

You want to smack your forehead with how high her voice is, even Jiwoo looks up from her tablet to send a glance at her. 

"If you say so, come on. Let's not keep them waiting"

They're gone in the blink of an eye, the only thing you have left to do now is wait for Chae to get back. She had snuck in a pointed look towards you before she darted off, one that definitely said _be ready when I get back. _

Suddenly your body fills with nervousness again, so much that you feel like you want to throw up and scream with joy at the same time. It's going to happen when she comes back, and you don't know what to feel anymore. Should you be happy that you're going to kiss the girl in love with? Or be sad that you're going to kiss the girl you're in love with all for a prank? You don't even know what's a prank and what isn't anymore, it's all just blended together into one big picture and you just don't know anymore. 

Your nervousness seems to be showing because Sooyoung stops her motions with Jinsoul's hair and sends you an annoyed look, "Really Hyejoo? You can't go 5 minutes without your soulmate before you become a big depressed puppy?"

That seems to shoot the nervousness right out of you, except now it's replaced with annoyance, "Oh what? I'm perfectly fine what are you talking about?"

Jinsoul scoffs, "Yeah, okay Miss Leg Bounce and Lip Bite with a Worried Glance in Every Direction"  
  


It's your turn to scoff, "Are you kidding me? I wasn't bouncing my leg! I was just-"

The sound of the front door opening cuts you off and now you're nervous again, "Oh look at that! Saved by the bell"

Sooyoung and Jinsoul snicker, but return to their previous activities as Haseul and Chaewon's voices travel from the kitchen to the living room. 

_"Jagiya!"_

You freeze mid-position change, Chae's voice echoing from the kitchen where you can hear them unpacking all of the food for everyone. 

She hasn't ever called you that, and now that she has, you don't know if you're going to be able to go through with this whole kiss thing. It feels all too real and all too fake at the same time, and you feel like your heart is going to break either way. 

"Hyejoo-yah, you gonna go answer your wife or what?" Hyunjin mumbles from underneath Heejin, a scowl on her face. 

You stutter, "Uh, um...Coming!"

You rush out of the living room and into the kitchen where Chae has her back turned to you, and you feel a sudden rush of energy that compels you to say _fuck it. _

You walk slowly up to her, snake your arms around her tiny waist and brush the hair from her right shoulder over to her left so you can press a gentle kiss to the side of her neck. You smirk when you feel her breath hitch and she freezes up in the middle of pulling a container from one of the bags.

_Two can play at that game. _

"Was there something you needed, _jagiya_?"

She seems to choke on nothing and her grip on the container is almost lethal. _Bingo. _

"Nope, it's nothing, nevermind!"

She says it in one breath and in an incredibly high voice, and you finally feel like you've gained a bit of an upper hand in whatever game this is that you're playing now. 

Out with shy and cute Hyejoo, in with girl-crush Olivia. 

You press a lingering kiss to her cheek and pull her flush against your front, her grip on the container faltering so that it falls back into the bag, "Are you sure, _princess_?"

She sputters and oh is it a sight to see. She wriggles out of your grasp and hurries out of the kitchen, tail tucked between her legs and you snicker. 

Needless to say, it doesn't happen that day. 

///

Instead, it happens when you least expect it. 

The tension between the two of you has reached an all-time high, so much that she's started to distance herself from you. You don't mind, because now you know you have the upper hand on her and you think maybe if you push it hard enough, she'll drop the whole thing altogether. 

It doesn't work like that, apparently. 

The passing of the Butterfly era means starting a new one for B#RN, and since the concepts have become darker, so have the dances. Loona choreography has long since forgotten the cutesy fashion and is now replaced with an entirely new sexy concept. No one has a problem with it considering it's not over the top sexy, there's no revealing outfits or sexualizing songs or dances, but the concept is definitely leaning towards girl crush and you're loving every second of it. Because along with Sooyoung and Jungeun, you're considered one of the members who can do the sexy concept the best, the dances and the facial expressions come naturally to you. 

After a particularly gruesome rehearsal that's left half the girls stripping of long shirts, or shirts in general, you notice that Chaewon is a lot more tense than usual. The choreographer has stepped out of the room as the practice has ended and the rest of the girls are stretching to cool down or talking amongst themselves. You shoot a look at yourself in the mirror and, just as you thought, you look utterly exhausted. But with the exhaustion comes a look you were hoping for. 

Messy hair that's ruffled and thrown into a messy ponytail - something that Chae has expressed her _extreme _love for - a heaving chest as you continue to regulate your breathing, your crop top hanging messily off your shoulder and shorts hanging low enough to show your abs that you've caught Chae staring at more times than you can actually count. 

"You okay Chaewonnie?"

You take a sip from your water bottle as she turns to face you, which you half regret because the look on her face is absolutely _murderous, _"No, I'm not okay, no fucking thanks to you"

_Oh she's cussing, here it comes._

"No thanks to me? What's that supposed to mean?" You feign annoyance with her, hoping to rile her up. 

It surely does. 

She huffs and gets chest to chest- well, chest to neck with you and starts whispering harshly at you, "You don't think I haven't noticed what you've been doing recently? It's not cool Hyejoo, and I don't appreciate it one fucking bit!"  


You raise an eyebrow at her, "I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm just trying to help with this whole prank thing"

You see the moment her frustration turns into anger, it’s quite terrifying honestly, "You're so fucking infuriating!"

It's not at all what you expected. You can't deny that the two of you have definitely been tense as of lately, and every little action just riles the both of you up even more and does nothing to defuse the situation. You half expect her to deck you in the face with how angry she looks, and not the cute kind of angry that makes her smile wide and narrow her eyes. No, she looks like she's in an absolute rage with her face all red and body rigid as a pole. 

So it's really not hard to imagine your surprise when she yanks you down by your neck and smashes her lips against yours. 

She tastes a bit like sweat and the chocolate you both snuck in before rehearsal started and her lips are _so _fucking soft and they slide perfectly against yours like they were meant to be together and-

Wait. 

_Wait. _

_What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck wHAT THE FUCK?_

Chae is literally kissing you. You're kissing Chae. Your lips are literally locked and moving together like you've kissed a hundred times before and the hand at the back of your neck has an absolute death grip on you, keeping you locked in place with your hands wrapped around her waist. 

You're fucking _kissing Chaewon. _

You don't even get to register the fucking multitude of fireworks and sparks going on in your body because you both seem to realize what you're doing at the same time and pull back with a gasp. 

Her eyes are wide, mouth open in shock, and you're sure there's confusion written all over your face. 

Because _Chae just kissed you. _In front of _everyone, _and it definitely wasn't because of a stupid fucking prank. 

Nevertheless, her head whips to look at the other 10 girls in the room and you expect her to start stuttering and backing away from you, or to start whooping and hollering in victory because her plan finally worked. 

Instead, her eyebrows knit together so tight you think there's going to be a permanent wrinkle there when they unfurrow, and she's not saying a word. You chance a glance at everyone, and to your surprise, everyone is standing exactly the way they were before _Chae fucking kissed you. _

The anger returns to her face so fast that it gives you whiplash. 

"What the _fuck?"_

You hear a gasp that sounds a lot like Haseul, and suddenly everyone is looking at the two of you with concern or worry. 

"Chae! Language!"

She released her death grip on you and she scoffs so hard you're worried for her vocal chords, "No, _what the literal fuck!"_  


Another gasp, and a pair of hands moves over Yeojin's ears, "Park Chaewon there are children present!"

You're starting to get a little worried that no one is going to live through this encounter, you've never seen Chae this angry before, "Hyejoo and I just _fucking kissed! Why is no one yelling?"_

Silence washes over the room and you gulp nervously, watching as confusion grows on _everyone's _faces, the hands over Yeojin's ears retracting. 

"Uhhh, why should we be yelling?" Jungeun is the brave one to speak out, although it's extremely cautious and borderline terrified. 

"Why should- WHAT? Hyejoo and I _KISSED?"_

She turns towards you and suddenly her lips are against yours again, and you barely have time to just fucking melt into her before she's pulling back again and gesturing as if trying to prove a point. 

"Um yeah? What about it?"

Now _you're _confused. 

"That was literally our first kiss", it's very scratchy but you manage to mumble it out. 

Jiwoo looks stunned beyond hell, "_What?"_

Chae throws her hands up, "Finally! Someone-"

"You guys waited more than a whole year to have your first kiss? I mean, props to you I guess, we just figured you guys had kissed way before now, like, when you first got together or something"

.

.

.

"I'm sorry what?"

Jungeun takes a careful step forward, "Are you guys okay? Are you sick or something?"

You have absolutely no words. This wasn't at all what you were expecting from this at all, never in your life did you expect _this. _They thought you'd been together ever since you _joined the fucking group. _They think that you've been dating, as girlfriends, for more than a fucking year now and never said _anything. _

_"_You-, you guys thought that... That w-we've been d-dating this, _whole, _time?"

Heejin's jaw drops, "Wait, you haven't"  
  


Chaos ensues. 

Heejin fucking drops to the ground in what looks like a mental breakdown as well as Jiwoo, and their respective partners drop to comfort them. Yeojin and Yerim start screaming their lungs out with questions and statements that are really just a mix of cuss words and disbelief. Sooyoung and Jinsoul stand off to the side and look absolutely distraught to the point where they haven't even said anything, even Jungeun is pacing back and forth with her head in her hands, yelling her disbelief and confusion. Kahei looks like a mix between Jungeun and Sooyoung, her eyes are squinted and she's standing rigid in the middle of the room looking like she's trying to process everything happening around her. 

Haseul seems to be the only one with common sense. 

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

Silence ensues immediately, everyone frozen in place as Leader Haseul steps out of her shell. 

She looks at you and then Chaewon, and then rubs at her temples, slowly and carefully, "Could one of you please explain to us what the _fuck _is going on"

You spare a glance at Chae and she looks like she's two seconds from passing out so you decide to step in for her, "Chae and I thought it'd be a good idea to act like a couple as a prank, to see how long it'd take you guys to notice or for someone to say something and freak out"

Multiple hands slide over multiple exasperated faces. 

"And how long has this been going on?"

Chae speaks, but it's a tiny broken whisper, "Since KCon"

The room emits a very, _very _loud groan. 

"Um, Chae, that was four months ago. Not to be dense or anything, but why the hell are you still trying to convince us?"

Kahei snaps her fingers, finally jumping out of her transfixed state, "She's not trying to convince us, she's trying to convince herself"

Your eyes go wide and a very weird noise that's a mix of a whine and a sob leaves Chaewon's lips, "Hyejoo I think I'm going to pass out"

She starts dropping to her knees and you jump in to fall with her so that she doesn't hurt herself, you pull her closer to you and cup at her cheek to see if she's actually about to pass out. 

"Not dating my ass! Look at them!" 

You vaguely register Haseul verbally threatening Yeojin for her outburst, but you're focused on Chae and her shaking pupils and body. 

Your vision zeroes in on her, all other chaos drowning out as you focus solely on the shaken girl in front of you. She's holding tightly onto your arms, her gaze fixed somewhere on the floor beside you and you're genuinely afraid for her health right now. 

"Chae?"

Her grip tightens and you almost wince but decide that if she needs to use you to ground herself then so be it. You faintly hear the other girls packing up their things and leaving the room, the echo of the door closing behind them ringing in your eyes. 

You're alone with Chae now. 

"Chae, are you okay?"

You know you need to be strong for her right now, because shielding your true feelings for someone and hearing the truth of it out loud are two very different things. 

The silence stretches on and you're starting to think that you're reading everything wrong, "Listen, Chae, it's okay if you don't feel the same. We can just pretend the prank worked and-"

_"Fuck the stupid prank"_

In a flash of movement, you feel her arms wrap around your neck and her lips latch onto yours again, and then your back is hitting the floor and Chae is on top of you and she still tastes like chocolate. Your lips glide naturally and perfectly and you don't think you're ever going to experience this feeling ever again in your life with someone else. 

After a while of just making out, Chae jumps up in a hurry and grabs onto your shoulders, "Oh my god"

"What-"

"I'm in love with you"

If you couldn't breathe before, you really can't now. Feeling the love and hearing it are very different and you don't think you're ever going to recover from this. 

"I've been in love with you this whole fucking time but I was too stupid to realize it so I decided to use a stupid fucking prank as a way to get my feelings out but I didn't even _know _and, and oh my gOD- Hyejoo I totally fucking used you I'm so fucking sorry I can't fucking believe-"

You've never seen her like this and it's honestly quite scary so you just do the first thing that comes to your mind. You pull her back down onto you and try to convey your feelings with your kiss. 

"You know now, it's okay Chae, we're okay"

You feel her crying against your cheeks and you try to pull back to look at her but she just pulls you closer and kisses you harder. You feel like you're on cloud fucking nine, this feeling is absolutely ridiculous and a part of you is upset that it's taken this long for you two to realize it but _god, finally. _

"I love you so much Chae, I always have. I don't call you my soulmate for nothing"

She laughs and it's light and airy, she buries her head into your neck and there's no tense shoulders and sweating backs. 

Just you and Chae, laying in a mess of emotions on the floor of the rehearsal studio. 

The way it's always been really. 

Things just make a bit more sense now. 

///

**Author's Note:**

> lemme know what you think???
> 
> hmu on ig @ hyejoosnose or twitter @ izzyalexandriab :)


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